Rivalry Jokes 1
RIVALRY JOKES
These are sports related jokes I have been
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collecting from sites around college football. If you have one you would like included, email me at
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This is pretty long, but it's HYSTERICAL! If you've ever been drunk at a sporting event, or been with someone who has, you can relate.
This is an e-mail from some guy named J.D.Horne, who, according to the
messages that were attached to this, is not a 21 year-old frat boy, but an attorney of indeterminate age. He sent it to his friend Brian Brice and it got forwarded around the country. You have to give the guy some props for being self-deprecating...but I hope I never meet him on game day.
How many psu grads does it take to milk a cow? Five.
One to hold the udders. Four to hold the legs and move the cow up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down .....
News!! Just in from cloning research.!!! Researchers just successfully used the genes from a groundhog and a nittany lion!! Researchers are now predicting six more years of bad football in State College.
A Pitt fan used to amuse himself by scaring every hoopie fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their blue and gold colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them. One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the
road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Mountaineer fan strutting down the road, and instinctively he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that hoopie fan." That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
Two WVU graduates bought a
truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they'd paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with. "See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Virginia Tech Hokie. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're Hokies too. Not really knowing what a Hokie is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the
crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Hokie." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I'm a proud Pittsburgh Panther," boasts the little girl. The teacher is perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a rebel. "Well, my
mom and dad are Panthers, so I'm a Panther too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and you dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a
Hokie."
A West Virginia trooper pulls over a pickup truck outside Morgantown. He says to the driver, "Got any
ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
A Pitt grad and a psu grad are running a ranch together in Oklahoma. They decide they need a bull to mate with their
cows to increase their herd. The Pitt grad takes their savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a
bull. He eventually meets with an old cowboy that has a bull for sale. "It's
the only one I got for $599, so take it or leave it." He buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office where he
asks the telegraph operation to send a telegram to his friend in
Oklahoma that says: "Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring
the trailer." The operator says: "Telegrams to anywhere in the US are $.75 per
word." The Pitt grad thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please."
"And what word would that be?" inquires the man. "Comfortable,"
replies the Pitt grad. The man asks, "I'm sorry sir, but how is your friend gonna understand
this telegram?" The Pitt grad replies, "My friend graduated from psu and reads REAL
slow, when he gets this, he will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."
A Panther, a hoopie, and Pamela Anderson are
sitting together in a train traveling through the Western PA when the
train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a
kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the
Panther are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the hoopie is
holding his slapped face. The hoopie is thinking, "The Panther must have kissed Pamela Anderson
and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "The Panther must have tried
to kiss me, accidentally kissed the hoopie, and got slapped for
it." And the Panther is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a
tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and hit that freakin' hoopie
again."
Last week a Pittsburgh
fan called the psu ticket office to order psu bowl tickets. The psu
ticket agent politely responded, "Sorry sir, psu will not be going
to a bowl game this year." "Thanks anyway." the
Pittsburgh fan replied. The next day, the same Pittsburgh fan called the
psu ticket office and spoke to the same ticket agent. "I'd like to
order psu bowl tickets for this year." he said. She replied,
"Sir, you must not have understood me yesterday when you called;
psu will NOT be going to a bowl game this year." "Thanks
anyway. " the Pittsburgh fan replied. The next day, the same
Pittsburgh fan called the psu ticket office and spoke to the same ticket
agent. "I'd like to order psu bowl tickets for this year." he
said. She replied, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've
called me. Can't you understand, psu WILL NOT BE GOING TO A BOWL GAME
THIS YEAR!" The Pittsburgh fan replied, 'Yes, I understand. I just
like hearing it!"
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, a Mountaineer fan, a Notre
Dame fan, a Penn State fan, and a Pitt fan. They had been arguing all
the way up the mountain about who among them was the most
"die-hard" fan. Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the
Notre Dame fan proclaimed to the other four..."This is for the
Fighting Irish!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a
form of sacrifice. Not to be outdone by a Notre Dame fan, the West
Virginia fan jumped up and said..."This is for the
Mountaineers!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a
form of sacrifice.
Refusing to be outdone by the Notre Dame and West Virginia fans,
the Pitt fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs
"This is for the Panthers!" and without any hesitation, pushed
the Penn State fan off the mountain.
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the Syracuse football team. "Can you
tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run
smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you
run?"" Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just
over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. “Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a
football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said,
"If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
Did you hear about the Irish alum who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She
cannot touch it until she is 14!
What is the best pick-up line in Morgantown?
Nice tooth.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Morgantown of course, anywhere else and it would have been called
teethbrush.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to
Morgantown? Everyone there has the same DNA.
A Rutgers fan arrived home to find his trailer on
fire. He rushed next door and called the fire department.
The fire department asked "How do we get there"? The
Rutgers fan answered "Shucks, don't you have those big red trucks
anymore?"
A little boy and his mother were walking through a
State College cemetary and happened across a head stone with the
following inscription. "Here lies a Penn State University
graduate and an honest man". The little boy turned to his
mother and asked "Why did they bury two people in that grave"?
